


delirium

by the_hero_she_deserves



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Anxiety, Bright Moon, Comfort, F/F, Love, Moonlight, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Present Tense, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, my symptoms, they're so sweet to each other, was feeling a little panicked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24785320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_hero_she_deserves/pseuds/the_hero_she_deserves
Summary: It's 2:00 AM in Bright Moon.But panic attacks have no sense of time.
Relationships: Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	delirium

**Author's Note:**

> It's about.... 3:00 AM for me right now, as I write this note. I wrote this story really quickly to get my feelings out. I was experiencing some anxiety - although not quite as extreme as Adora is in my fic. This is a separate story to the one I'm currently working on called 'peace'. 
> 
> *Here's your additional trigger warning/warning: 
> 
> If reading about anxiety and panic attacks triggers you, or makes you uncomfortable at all, please take care of yourself and do not read on.  
> Thank you.

Glimmer’s tired.

She’s been working on restoration plans all night. She’s signed document after document in the day. She’s left on Netflix in the background - some cartoon show she doesn’t really have an interest in, but that looks cute - as noise so that it isn’t quite so quiet. But, the hour for working has come and gone quickly, and so has Glimmer’s energy.

_It was **just** 11 PM_ \- thinks Glimmer. _When did it become 2 AM?_ \- she also wonders.

Yawning for perhaps the fifteenth time, she moves to shut the devices off playing Netflix. As the TV screen goes black and the soft audio cuts out, she gets up from the chair she’s been sitting in. She rubs her backside; all that sitting would make anyone’s bottom numb. Slowly, she makes her way for her room.

She would be teleporting had she more energy to do that. Besides, taking the long way back to her room means she gets to say goodnight to her mother.

It’s just a mural, but when Glimmer remembers to do it, she does it. It’s become a sort of tradition here to say goodnight to Angella. Even though she isn’t there with Glimmer, the queen is hopeful that somewhere she can hear her.

She smiles just a bit as she passes by the mural. Her room isn’t far away now.

She can imagine the soft pillows and the cushions beneath her. She can’t wait for her aching muscles and her heavy body to finally be carried off to the land of dreams, to finally rest from all their hard work.

She enters her room and sees that a lamp on her desk was left on.

_Adora_ \- she thinks to herself.

That girl was always doing the considerate thing and leaving lights on for Glimmer for when she’d come to bed. The queen always thought it to be sweet, but she could never be too sure if she’d done so on purpose or if it was a total accident and just by forgetting to turn it off, it was left on.

Just another thing Glimmer must attend to before she can rest.

She drags herself over to the lamp on her desk and silences it by pressing the switch into ‘off’ mode. The light vanishes, but there is still moonlight seeping in through the windows. She can see a white shirt occupying the bed floating in the air.

It’s cute that Adora’s already gone to sleep. She must be turned over and so comfortably exploring her dreams that Glimmer doesn’t wish to wake her. It was downright cute that she’d sleep in her bed with her as well, despite finding it a little too fluffy for her liking, anyway.

Glimmer made her way up the steps to the bed. When she reached the final step though, something caused her to wake up suddenly. Adora wasn’t asleep.

Rather, her eyes were dull and empty, and looked like they didn’t have life in them. The queen, quickly went to put a hand to the blonde’s chest.

_Okay. She’s still breathing._

The thought sounds in her mind.

_If she’s breathing, then she must still be alive._

She thinks next.

Glimmer takes a moment to summon sparkles to light the room, since the moonlight isn’t sufficient enough. With the new light, Glimmer can see that Adora’s pupils - or what she can see of them anyway - are dilated. Her eyes can’t lock onto her sight. She doesn’t know if she’s awake or asleep, but she’s way out of it.

Glimmer inspects some more.

She finds that Adora’s skin is unusually pale. The warrior usually has fairer features, but her skin looks an unhealthy pasty color that just can’t be right. Worse, Glimmer discovers that her skin is clammy to the touch and she appears to be visibly sweating. There are a couple of loose strands of hair on Adora’s forehead that have been sticking to her skin. She notices that Adora’s cheeks are flushed with an unnatural pink tint as well.

Her breathing is labored. It’s as though she can’t breathe deeply enough. The breaths Glimmer does manage to hear are shallow and quick. She places her hand back onto Adora’s chest; her heartbeat is pounding so loudly it may just burst from her chest. It’s a rapid thing, despite the world feeling like it’s going much slower to the blonde at the moment.

Her body is limp. Glimmer tries calling to her to get her to sit up, wake up, whatever. Adora cannot only shift her head just a bit in response. It’s too heavy. She can’t quite lift it. She can’t move her legs or arms without them feeling like jelly.

She can’t do much of anything.

Glimmer doesn’t know what’s happening.

_Is she dying?_

She wonders first, frantically.

_Is she going to be okay? Is she sick? Is she… is she having a seizure or something?_

More thoughts spew into Glimmer’s mind in rapid succession trying to figure out what’s happening to her precious Adora.

Glimmer, helpless to do much else, cradles the blonde in her arms. It’s only now that she feels Adora’s full weight. The blonde has swelled a bit due to all the sweat and her limbs are numb giving the queen all of the warrior’s dead weight. Glimmer doesn’t care. She doesn’t mind at all. She simply holds Adora, as best she can, close to her chest, close to her body.

She begins to say comforting things that she think will help.

“It’s okay.” She begins. “It’s okay. I’m not sure what’s happening, Adora, but we’ll get you through this. It’ll all be okay. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay with you through it this entire time. I promise.” She says.

Adora’s eyes shift again. She must be trying to look at Glimmer, but even that’s a hard task to do when your body feels so heavy.

Glimmer is suddenly struck with an idea.

She maneuvers Adora so that she can undo her shirt and take it off of her. She wants to let her skin breathe. She also works at sliding her pants off her form. She must be suffocating in that outfit. Adora is left in her undergarments, but at least her skin is cool. The blonde doesn’t care. She is starting to feel just a tad better.

Glimmer gets another idea and sets Adora down for just a moment.

“I’ll be right back! I promise!” She says and this time, teleports, away to grab things in a hurry.

She takes a blanket from Adora’s room, thinking it may provide some comfort. She takes a stuffed animal - the biggest, fluffiest one she owns and brings that as well. She makes up a quick cool washcloth, saturated with water and teleports back to the room and into the bed.

She places the blanket on one side of Adora. She doesn’t need it over her, it may just be as suffocating as the clothes were. The goal of the blanket is to provide comfort. She places the stuffed animal in between the blonde’s arm to hold. She thinks that may also be comforting to hold.

She places, carefully, the washcloth over her forehead and allows the cool temperature to set in. Glimmer places Adora back inside her arms and cradles her close.

She goes back to saying those sweet and calming sentiments. She rocks her back and forth slowly. She breaths in and out at an even rhythm hoping Adora will do the same.

“Whatever it is, Adora, I’m here. I’ve got you and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’re fine, you’re okay. Just take nice, easy breaths. I got your favorite blanket, and I have Kowl, a stuffed animal my father made for me that always brought me comfort. And you have that cold washcloth that I bet feels really nice right now. And you have me.” She pauses.

“You’ll always have me.” Glimmer tries to look into Adora’s eyes, but she can’t bear the sight of the dilated pupils.

“You’re safe here. In Bright Moon. With me. I promise. It’s just the two of us here. Just me and you. And I’ve got you. I’ve got you and I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe here with me. We’re safe in the castle. There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m right here. I’m right here, Adora.” She repeats over and over.

She doesn’t quite know if it’s working or not.

The cool temperature on her forehead is enough to make Adora break her panic. She is slowly being called back to reality. Her chest starts to move more evenly, and she is breathing at the same pace Glimmer is. She feels herself start to come out of it. She can feel the cool breeze on her skin. She feels her limbs lighten up. She feels her mind become less clouded. Gradually, she can feel the warmth and the color returning to her skin. Gradually, she can feel her heartbeat begin to slow down. Gradually all these changes are happening, but it will take a minute to come out of it.

Adora cuddles closer, continuing to take those big and deep breaths. Glimmer breathes with her, happy to see that she’s coming to from whatever was ailing her.

She continues to rock her back and forth, gently. Not another word dare be said.

Glimmer didn’t feel as much weight either. It was gradually getting lighter the more Adora was able to move.

The blonde soon found herself in a state of calm she hadn’t had before. One of her hands gently gripped a part of Glimmer’s shirt, holding onto her.

Adora’s pupils return to normal and she finally looks like herself again. Glimmer tears up and smiles, giving her a giant squeeze as a hug.

“You really had me worried there!” She cries. “I didn’t know what was wrong and they don’t train you for that!”

Adora chuckles. “Yeah… sorry.” She apologies first. “I’m not sure what brought that on. I was just sitting here thinking and then suddenly all of that…”

“Well, whatever you were thinking about, don’t ever think about it again!” Glimmer cries. “You didn’t seem like yourself and I didn’t know what to do, and-…” Adora interrupts her.

“You did just fine. Thank you, Glim.” She says with a smile on her face. Yes, Adora is much calmer now.

Glimmer finally feels herself relax.

She lays next to Adora, but makes sure to face her.

“Hey… uh…. “ Adora trails. “Why am I in my underwear? I know you were taking off my clothes, but uh…”

“I was trying to ventilate you, dummy.” Glimmer answers right away. “You just seemed like you were having a hard time breathing, so I took your clothes off to get you to cool down. I can go get them if you’d like to put them back on.”

“No, that’s okay.” Adora says. “I don’t mind. But I did wonder why you were doing that.”

Glimmer sniffles. It must be the allergies in the air this time of year, right? “Ugh, you know what? Next time you’re like that, I’m just going to let you die.”

Adora smiles. “You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Wanna bet?” Glimmer teases. “Now, where’s my cuddles?”

Adora opens her arms and the queen scoots in close. She nestles her head against the bigger girl’s chest. Adora’s arm comes to rest over Glimmer’s form and more specifically hold her by the waist. Glimmer’s eyes flutter closed as she sighs out a happy breath.

“Adora?” She breaks the silence with her name, softly.

“Hm?” Adora answers.

“Really… what was wrong just now? I… I was so worried and so sure that you were dying or something. I wouldn’t know what to do if I…” Glimmer trails and just nuzzles in closer to her lover.

“I wasn’t dying.” Adora starts. “I was having a panic attack. I don’t usually get them, and I thought I was passed them and all, but something I was thinking about must have triggered it. Anxiety can be such a terror sometimes.” She explains it as if it’s really that simple.

“Anxiety?” Glimmer says next. “I mean… sure, I’ve had that before. I know what that’s like, but all of that was a panic attack?”

“Have you never had one before?” Adora questions.

“Mm-mm.” Glimmer denies.

“Well…” Adora trails. “Good, you don’t want to experience that. Feeling helpless to do anything, like even move your own body is scary. But… it doesn’t last forever. I would have calmed down eventually and probably went right to sleep afterwards. Those take a lot of my energy.” She explains to the queen.

“That is really scary.” She agrees.

“But thanks to you, I was able to come out of it sooner. Thanks, Glimmer.” Adora says sincerely, giving a small kiss to her forehead. “I’m okay now.”

Glimmer blushes. She loves sweet sentiments like that, but hardly knows what to do with herself afterwards. She smiles, and burrows further into Adora.

“Well, the next time you have a panic attack, don’t.” She says teasingly, first. The queen is fully aware they cannot be controlled, only managed.

She waits a moment and then says again….

“The next time you have a panic attack, I’ll be right here.” Her voice softens.

“You’d better be.” Adora’s voice softens as well. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Glimmer smiles wider as she finally feels herself fade away. She is relaxing into sleep, cuddled up with the one she loves. Adora, tired from the attack, seems to concentrate on Glimmer’s presence and her skin and the comfort it brings. The first solace they find is within each other. Soon after, both girls drift off to a more peaceful place to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, the symptoms described are my symptoms, anyway. ...And I definitely didn't intend to stay up this late again. Whoops.  
> Anyway, yeah. Panic attacks are different for everyone. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I appreciate comments, if you want to drop a line.


End file.
